I am a bisexual boy in high school and, I have fallen in love with someone that will never love me back. I am also New Wiccan. The male that I have fallen in love with is a Christian that I know is unfortunately straight. I have this nagging felling, or false hope that he is faking it all and he is gay or bi. the reason that I know that I have fallen in love with this individual precedes so: when I think I have fallen in love with someone, I have uncontrollable lust for them; however, Whenever i have lustful thoughts about this particular male, I try so very hard to suppress the thoughts. I have never cried about him once because my parents have forced me to not let out my emotions, which come out in occasional meltdowns. I always have this hole in the center of my chest and, my grades, extra curricular activities, hobbies do not give me interest anymore. I cannot tell my parents for the reason of, whenever i tell them a problem they don’t care and it is irrelevant to their lives, I cannot express it to anyone because, of the bottling up my feelings and having meltdowns. Whenever I want to cry I can’t bring it into reality i just have this blank where an emotion should be. This has also spiked my anxiety because the last time i fell in love with someone who was very similar to the boy that i am currently in love with i told him i loved him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He then proceeded to pretend to be my friend until the start of our high school freshman year (which is this current year). He will not talk to me or even look at me. I don’t want the same thing to happen to this other man that i love I would still want to be his friend but not exiled from his life like the last time. I have had some bad love manipulation experiences in my early years of still remaining a hopeless romantic; which has put up very strong but brittle barriers. Only three people including the two boys have penetrated this concrete wall all of the cases (2 people) have had them gone from my life for a long time I do not want a third. HELP ME PLEASE.