A Mother’s Dilemma

I am a 39-year-old widow living with my 17-year-old son. We live in a semi-rural housing development away from the hustle and bustle of the city. I work as a teacher in a nearby elementary school. My son is attending high school where he is finishing Grade 12. He is very intelligent and hard working and receives excellent grades in school. He plans to enter university this fall and become a scientist like his late father.

I have read in various sources including Internet postings that some adolescent sons have unhealthy attractions to their mother and that some sons actually go as far as to having s***** i********** with them. The readings say that in some cases their mother doesn’t even know that the s** act has been committed. They just go about their daily lives not knowing that i***** has or is occurring. My problem is that I may be one of these mothers and I am not sure what to do about it.

My son is quite introverted and has never had a real girl friend. I know that he likes girls but he says that he feels clumsy and awkward when in their company. I recently discovered that he masturbates to pictures of women of all ages and I find clear s**** stains on his underclothes. I also suspect that he watches pornographic movies on his computer when I am not home.

With just the two of us living at home, there have been accidental encounters when he has seen me partially, or even fully naked, such as after a shower during a hectic morning. I am big-breasted and I see his eyes staring at my breasts and my naked crotch and I can only imagine what thoughts are going through his young mind.

Over the recent Christmas holidays, I was invited to a party where many different wines and liquors were served. One of my weaknesses is that I enjoy alcoholic beverages and I tried several of them. It is a well-known fact that mixing liquors is a recipe for disaster, at least for me, and at the end of the party, the host had to have my son come and pick me up. I was a bit tipsy but managed to get undressed with some help from him. I do seem to remember that he did leave my bedroom but it was not until I had removed my bra and bared my breasts. I was asleep within seconds after crawling into bed.

The next morning, I noticed that I wasn’t wearing p****** under my slip. For me, this is most unusual. I just assumed that it was because I was a tad drunk and didn’t undress properly. I looked for them under the sheets but instead, found wet spots, which felt and smelled like s****. It then dawned upon me that I had been raped – and by my own son. He must have had s***** i********** with me while I was sleeping. I was shocked and dismayed.

Over the next couple days, I didn’t mention anything about it to my son nor did he say anything about it to me. Because I am still more-or-less capable of becoming pregnant, I took a pregnancy test, but it turned out to be negative. Still, there is no doubt in my mind that he did have s***** i********** with me that night. The decision that I have to make now is whether or not to confront him with the facts, or to just let it go as exploratory s**, which many sons seem to do with their mother nowadays anyway.

Laverne S.