I have to start with a little explanation about me. I was with a girl for four years. She and I lost our virginity to each other, and had s** multiple times a day. Before we ever had s**, I spent some time nearly every day pleasuring her. That is something strange about me. I love pleasuring the girls I am with. I rarely want reciprocation. I also have three fetishes. Watching people m*********, watching girls squirt, and v***** m***********. If they don’t know I’m watching, it’s far better. That last one has nothing to do with this, but I figured I’d mention it. Now, that girl and I broke up for quite a few reasons, but we decided that we could stay friends. That has remained successful, and that’s pretty awesome! I met someone, who at this point, honestly, I think might be the woman I marry. She is the most amazing person I have ever met, and even when I spend every day with her (seriously, I spent weeks with her by my side every second of each day) and I never even imagine getting annoyed or bored with her. I need her with me. A coupe months ago, I made a mistake. One I’m terrified to tell her. And one that I may NEVER tell her.

This best friend of mine called me over one night because I am really good with computers, and hers is just awful. It had died, and she needed me to get it going so she could do her online classes for college. I gladly went over there, not expecting any more than tv and computer fixing. I got the computer fixed, and still had some time before I needed to head home, so I figured I’d stick around and watch some more tv with her. But things kinda veered off in a different direction. She got up and went into her room at one point without saying anything, and a few minutes later, she called me in like she would for any normal thing, and asked me to come see something. I got up and went in to see her laying naked on her bed, finger on her c***, in the middle of an o*****. I stared at her for a second, and asked her what the hell she was doing. She stopped after she finished orgasming, and told me she had finally learned how to squirt (something I had been trying to make her do for four years) and she wanted me to see it. This is where I made my mistake. I became interested. It was something I had never seen in person. Only in p***. So I was intrigued to see it up close. I sat on the edge of her bed, and watched. She leaned over and grabbed her v*******, and put it on her c***, immediately starting another o*****. I told her to let me know when it was going to happen, and I just turned and stared at a wall for a little bit. She started screaming so I looked to see what was happening. She was starting to o***** so hard that she couldn’t keep her hands down there too well because of all the shaking and squirming. In the middle of it she screamed and begged me to rub her and finish it because she couldn’t do it herself. That’s where I made my second mistake. I got down on the floor next to her bed and started rubbing her c*** for her. She had an o***** that lasted nearly two minutes, ending with a stream shooting off of the bed. She finished, put her clothes back on, thanked me and gave me a hug, and sent me home. She is severely introverted and selfish (big part of why we broke up) and I honestly think she just wanted a good c** and couldn’t finish herself because it was TOO good. And I had general curiosity and interest in seeing my biggest fetish close up. But I still feel really guilty. I want to tell my girlfriend, but the thought of losing her is terrifying. I probably won’t. I just needed to get this off my chest somewhere. It’s honestly one of the sexiest things that’s happened to me in a long time, but thinking about it makes me sick, not aroused.