I can’t find any better phrase to describe myself other than failure. Call me weird if you want, but inside, I know there’s something in people that’s required for you to be alive, and I just don’t have it. Idk, somekind of talent maybe, courage, something that drove you to hold the pain, leave the secure and comfortable area, do something with life? how should I know I JUST DON’T HAVE IT.

I don’t have any desire to be in social activity in any kind because I can’t stand bullying and hate at the slightest hint, I can’t seem to find a way to put myself in good use because I can’t stand to see myself walking to dissapointment, I cry at minor pains like dislocated knee and painful words, and most of the case went traumatized and avoid anything connected to it.

My society work it *** off to make sure me and hundreds of people in my generation can be a strong potential foundation to support their inspired grandsons and make the humanity, or at least my society, grow bigger and stronger. They need people that mentally and physically made of steel, growing more beautiful, stronger, faster, smarter. Ready to face the world lemons calmly. And what the EXACTLY avoid is a weak product who shivers at the first glance of pain. I am the failed, avoided, product that either need to get out of their way, placed in the inferior layer, or eliminated(in a manner of “get the f out of our strong society you’re unsuitable and unable to survive”)

I feel stupid saying this. It’s the same like saying HEY THE TREES ARE GREEN. Of course it is. It’s been that way from the first. We need to be strong and pain-proof so our offspring can be even stronger. That’s how human aren’t humanoid primates anymore, they make as many strong product as possible and keep it unified in a well-ordered society. The pussies are, like, duh why are they even alive, they can’t survive. Why am I even alive, I won’t survive.

Despite of my constant guilt of being exist, I still feel the natural instinct of a living being to protect its identity and, well, exist ence. So as ironic as it sounds, if God or anything up there or anywhere could hear me, I’d rather have this system erased. And by that I mean the humanity. The world, everything. I wish it would be erased from the present or past. I wish this world neverr exist and never will. I’d like to kill everyone I met that have the chance to decide that my existence is a failure. I wan’t everything dead.

Well, that was poor-written and I did not expect any person would read it. I just feel like letting it out and makes clear exacttly what is wrong. I fee better now. This site helps a lot (^-^)/