No matter how hard I try to, I can’t bring myself to believe that my girlfriend doesn’t care for me. I’m out of state, went drinking with her, staying in her house, am literally stranded here until the third of January if something happens. My trust isn’t easily gained, and it’s even harder to get back once there’s a crack in it. I have this mental battle daily if I’m who she wants to be with, or if she is just using me for amusement…I love her with all my heart, but I can’t trust her with all of my heart anymore. I’m crushed, destroyed, hung out to dry. Those three words you tell me everyday, “I love you”, are both the greatest words that can pull me out of any slump or dark place that I’ve ended up in. You know first hand how dark my mind goes, and they’re also the words I dread hearing the most from you, because you can tear me down with words…I want to love you as much as I actually love you, but there’s a barrier that can’t be broken down.