I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to feel loved and keep going back to a time in my life when I had everything I wanted, now disillusioned into thinking I could have it all back. I’m frustrated because it seems as though I can get nothing done and have no time to myself, no privacy, and the future I keep trying to look forward to keeps getting blocked out by all the weight of the present.

My drive to overcome rests in the future and I cannot see it. I feel like I’m surrounded by idiots and have finally reached the point where I’m sick of being held down, but where am I going? How the hell am I going to get there if I keep putting myself through this?

I never sleep anymore because I want to get ahead of the game, but it only makes things worse. I work a physically demanding dead-end job where I go unrecognized for anything I contribute, and I come home feeling braindead, to someone who doesn’t seem to want me, whose family has no respect for us; a place I want so badly to leave behind and never think about again.

I only want to overcome. Why can’t I?