I need to know if I’m the only one. I am 16 now. A fit average looking high schooler with a friends group.
I am the worst person and best person I know. I wish things in this work were different. My experience in life has only made me want to cause pain and suffering to others. I had a happy childhood contrasted with a terrible 2 years starting off in high school. Long story short I had money and friends in my freshmen year and I was happy. There were girls I fell in love with and normal teenage stuff. Then my parents divorced and my mom moved me and my brother 500 miles away from our home to a new place. This place was hell. My moms bf was a **** and my brother started doing drugs left an right. He always was someone I wanted to be. He always got the girls I liked and I was jealous of him throughout my childhood. I never got as much attention as him. But that’s aside from the point. My hatred grew for the world more and more in this hell. I knew nobody. My day to day life was uncomfortable. Everyday was ****. I began thinking.. I began thinking and thinking about life and everything and why people do what they do. I wanted to take my situation and let it motivate me to make the world a better place for kids living in similar hells. Time went on nothing changed. I was nice to people but people treated me like ****. I was alone at school and alone at home. I told my mom if things didn’t change I would end up killing myself and she didn’t seem to care. So I made a noose in my closet and tried hanging myself. I stopped myself before it was too late. This is when my sadness and hopelessness turned into the greatest hatred. The once brightest light I once was, was now a black hole. I thought to myself, “the world is doing this to me, why am I going to destroy good life,  the life that was given to me” I then refocused my thoughts. This was last year. I told my mom I needed a therapist. She took me. The therapist knew nothing of this darkness and couldn’t understand my insanity. I found myself teaching her about the mind. We stopped seeing her. It’s been a year now. I am nothing on the inside everything in me is a void that would make Satan scared to death. The things I would do to this earth if given the chance would make hitler look like a savior. No mind is darker then mine. I have acted on animals. I want to make every living being suffer like I have. Torture everyone. If there is a God I will kill him. I need to know if there’s more people like me that want to destroy this earth like me..