To be honest, I always kept things pent up inside. A guy is never suppose to reveal his emotions– but what about his intellect? What if it’s raised against family? Well, that happen and for that it was raised against me in anger in spite. I allowed my emotions to wish ill will on someone far beyond the point of forgiveness. I allowed myself to wish my very own mother to die– and continue to it for days at a time. There is no hope between us– nor do I ever see it be. I see this declining and I sit here and accept it. Days at a time, we come to mutual understanding that our company is beginning to do more harm than us– and we need to improve. I found that improving is to keep to myself and live a shallow life till it all blows over– because it’s pointless drama. When we do discuss it, I can’t help but to laugh in my head– that also I admit. Because I helped a friend out that seems as only suspicious as the person looking at it– I treated her with ignorance and wished her dead cause she only has words to share back– empty and the exact same ill wishes she may have on me. I feel guilty only because one person is doing this out of anger and the other is doing this out of spite. It’s painful to me cause I feel guilty. Maybe if I take time to reflect on this post alone and see how ignorant it is– maybe then I can truly get over it. Maybe if she does the same thing. The creator of this website– I did a Google search and found this by chance. So I thank you dearly for this way is my only electronically pillow to yell in.