there’s always talking to yourself. some stuff never gets old. truely has been a week… peeps keep kicking and we r kicking back. with evidence. seems like alot of work to get to here. and where exactly is here. really i dont have a clue. seems like sooo much piles on the scales it has to of tipped somewhere. long time ago in any sane course of action. tired of crazy mean and nasty and really peeps r going to eat it in reality. where it counts.

loven my life on some levels but one has to assume i am a star when i am winning anddd not so much when im not. sighhhhhh. just feels like waiting for the next shoe to drop. sighhhh and it’s always soooo insane.

bff scarry. doesnt remember calls only that i should bee mad. huh. i aint. aint my life and aint my decissions. i think what is scarry is i know when undue influence appears anddd really it bears no resemblence to the indie i know. sometimes i get scared. i think hatered lives there.

crushing presure, in every direction. probabvly not a good way to live a life. aint like i dont try and run away. sighhhhh.

i view myself as an incredibly damaged sole. drains my confidence even when i am holding allll the cards. 🙁

i tell myself potencially i did some good things with my life. but not even all that sure bout that. in reality peeps see a world sooo fucked up and meh nothing wierd there….. it must beee me. idk…. pretty freakin shakey for sure.

need new purspective anddd really moving my office 7 inches helped but sooo much wrong. stuff long over moldy ….legal for sure. in reality if this actually our justice system idk, world is a scarry place no matter the direction.

crap nervous ticks AND WHY THE F*** NOT. hatred lives in fear and i have lots to bee scared of. amazing thing is i dont hate the world , just what it’s become.

taking some comfort in. ummmm crazy in reality burns at the truth, specially if u document it.

i cant fix this 🙁