My first s***** experience was when I was 13. I stopped at a city park restroom and an older guy (I later learned he was an Episcopal minister) offered a h*******. It was a small town so I ran into this guy all over the place. He was my girlfriend’s pastor for a while.

One day I was watching a city council meeting on TV a few years later and saw a guy that used to hang out at that park restroom to have s**. I wanted to call the program and tell them that their colleague was a cocksucker but it would have been a really douchebag move so I didn’t. When I think of all the influential people in that town that used to go there for s** – and most of them had sucked my d*** or jerked me off – and I was underage at the time. Some people are lucky that I knew how to keep certain things quiet.