5 or so years back I was in a relationship with 16/ 17 year old girl a few years younger than myself. Towards the end of the relationship I think she wanted to break up with me, but didn’t know how to. One time we were spooning in bed in our underwear and I started to move my hands towards her g******* and she told me to just hold her. I did so, but after 4 or 5 minutes I slowly moved my hand again and ended up rubbing her genitally. She didn’t say anything and because I was an entitled jerk I took her acquiescence as consent. However, about a year after the relationship ended and educating myself about feminism online I realised how totally f*cking unacceptable my behaviour was (i.e. seriously wrong, rather than just a bit pushy) and how deeply uncomfortable and violated it must have made her feel. A couple of years ago I asked her via email whether she’d want to take legal action against me but she told me that I was being way too serious about it all and that she didn’t feel there was any legal action to take. I’ve never forgiven myself for my behaviour and still think about it every day because I really liked her and did something stupid, ugly and essentially abusive. I’ve never repeated my behaviour, but I feel most people would say that I can never be forgiven and should kill myself, despite the fact that my ex seems to be okay. It is easily the thing that I regret most in my life.