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Oh my god the s** that Michelle and I filled our day with yesterday was amazing and for the most part non stop. We were going to shower after the breakfast was finished and the little left to clean up in the kitchen was clean. I felt like I had to punish her a little for stopping our s***** fun and games to try fooling around with some kid from school. Making me only f*** with my girlfriend and a different FWB, limiting how much s** I could get. She had hated what little she and he had done because he was ignorant, and didn’t even try to be respectful or gentle with her. When she was naked I spanked her a little harder than turned her on, and she swore not to do it again. I walked us into the shower and peed all over her, which she liked, then she stood over me and peed. We’ve been doing that since we still took baths together as younger kids. Washed we went to her bed and had oral and manual s** until we were both ready for rest and some partying. A lite lunch, some oral s** for her and I eased my big 18 yo c*** into her and took the virginity that she gave me. It was awesome to finally be f****** my tiny, s***, virgin little sister. I came hard inside her slightly bloody s**. while she had a little “O” Her p**** was so small and tight. Hot and wet and I took it easy on her for a good 20 minutes but slammed her a little to finish my own o*****. I stayed hard and buttfucked her a*** virginity with lube I had to get from my room. She barely had the energy to shower off with me then came hard in her bed with my oral and finger f****** her g spot. We ruined the towel under her for her deflowering and she napped for almost an hour. We fucked again in both of her lower holes and she napped again. I used her as she slept.

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I’m tempted to give up on her and I I feel like I’ve been trying so long and litteeally I put in the effort. She doesn’t even try to communicate back. I don’t think she even knows I tried to reach her. The messages are unread. I’m blocked on fb. I’ve spent a year even trying to reach her on different social media on off. Tried to rebuild start from scratch. Impress her compliment her and say how I truly feel. All those months I spent on my knees praying for her for and for us that was 2 f****** years ago. Then you tease me with a vision of us and tell me well have kids and make me earn them by doing good deeds just basically keep doing it till something happens then you tease me with how she looked pregnant and no one told me s*** for months I’m left alone wondering if anything even happened with a woman I love who won’t speak to me let alone even add me on social media who was probably carrying my kid that was my gift of my love to her. Then more months go by I know nothing no one tells me anything. I spent months begging the real jesus for clarity tell me what is going on felt like their souls exist and don’t understand where I’m under this god that can’t possibly be jesus while trying to find jesus for 2 1/2 godamn years of working my a** off obsessing over what in the name of God I could possibly be doing wrong. Months and months of devotion and bible studies and all those prayers and trying to learn and fun. Months I was tormented for I think almost a year and I still get tormented. Everything I have been through in faith is so unfair. Then I saw recently she didn’t even look pregnant. This god is such a jerk. I blame the real jesus every day for not helping me or my life not h3lping me understand what is going on leaving me on my own to try to figure everything out for a year or more. All the he’ll and torment I have gone through all the horrible things I have gone through in the last 2 years. My life genuinely feels so bad that this year I finally looked for a diff god yet still believing In Jesus bc it just that gofamn awful it shouldn’t be this hard. I’ll curse you every day jesus for not helping me all those times I seemed the real jesus not this thunder thing or satan. This is bs. You have nonidea how many times u even asked for deliverance from things
You have no idea how many times I have tried to confess sins or talked to a priest. How much effort I have put into it Christianity and faith and these weird spiritual things I have gone through. I’ve spent 2 1 /2 years still trying ti understand visions even. And all this other stuff that I don’t understand (other spiritual things all kinds of stuff even dreams that were spiritual) and yeah I prayed about it yeah I talked to priest about it. Your Bible is useless on so many issues. Jesus is a damn moron and a jerk and clearly is f****** deaf