my life is over… i dont even go out anymore. because of fear… i dont wanna show myself.

since kid i always been a very prety man. yet life has made that i had to be born with a sad skin problem which made me a reject all my life. and i am angry sometime in a sense because if only i wasnt born with this skin thing on my face…. i would have been happy.

i would have a girlfriend, money etc etc

because yes, its much harder to someone disfigured to have a job. its harder simply because you dont have the same feelings as a pretty person when waking up. what i mean is when i wake up, rarely i have in mind the focus to go seek a job. too often i know my dread and feels like not going out, because I just dont want to be standing in public place.

you know, about that skin ” thing ” that was on my face since child, the only way to remove wasw by surgery. I chose surgery at around 15-16 years old, because I was just sad and wanted to live like i always wanted to be. to be an happy man. to have friends, a lover , live a passionate life you know.

well even after surgery, even if it fixed the issue ( which im very grateful ), yet it came with its own lot of things. Still replacing the skin issue with a scar that has disfigured me…

in all honesty, i looked way prettier before but the issue having this skin problem of my face was sad to live. I was like outstanding in places , people would stare at me and i would feel rejected etc…

I look on facebook other people accounts and often im jealous. I see a pretty like 20ish years old girl that already her child. it is in these cases i wish it was me at their place, it s****