I was just looking through my drawers and I found my late uncle’s beanie cap. I asked my aunt if I could keep it when he passed away last February. It was one of his favorites and he wore it all the time once he started chemo treatments. Seeing it really hit me in the heart. I was reminded how much I still miss him.

I was reminded how, after they took away his body, my Aunt would touch the blood stains on the carpet because it meant she still had a part of him with her. I was reminded of the horror on my mother’s face when I had to tell her that her baby brother was gone and the pure grief, the sorrow and wailing that came after. I remembered my grandfather’s grief stricken voice and wet eyes coming from a man who I’ve never seen cry my whole life. I was reminded of that horrible day and the horrible weeks that followed. And I sit here with tears in my eyes knowing that it will never really stop hurting. I miss you so much, Uncle C. I wish you were here with us.

To anyone reading this: Love the people close to you, and cherish them.