In the last 7 years, my family has completely fallen apart. And every year, things get worse than before.
We were a happy family. My parents were married and they loved each other dearly. They had three children, including me (the youngest). We had our issues from time to time, but we all loved each other and would be there for one another. And it just seems like someday, everything became destined to fall apart.
I miss the days where my family would occasionally do something together and have fun.
I miss the days where I could feel comfortable talking to any member of my family about anything at all and know that they could support me.
I miss the days where I actually felt like I had a home rather than just a roof over my head.
What’s worse is, I know this could all be healed. I know that if everyone just opened their eyes and realized what’s happening to this family and actively worked to repair things, it would all be better, at least somewhat. If my sister would at the very least pick up the phone and call one of us to let us know that she’s okay, or if my father would get help for his gambling addiction and stop acting manipulative to gain pity from us, I know that this could actually improve my family’s overall relationship with one another.
I just miss it so much, and it literally hurts to think about it. It can’t be avoided, because everywhere I turn, I’m facing the void that used to be my family.
When I die, I want to be cremated. And I want my ashes to be spread over Mexico Beach, Florida. My family vacationed there ten years ago. All of us. I want my ashes to be spread there, because that’s the one place I remember my family being the happiest. And I hope that our spirits can meet again there, and hopefully we can all finally be at peace with one another.