WHEN EVER I AM IN THE COMPANY OF LOUISE SHE REFUSES TO LOOK AT ME AND TALK TO ME, SHE WILL LOOK IN THE OPOSITE DIRECTION ALL THE TIME, SHE DID THESE SORTS OF THINGS TO ME WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL AS WELL, THEN SHE CHANGED FOR A WHILE IN 1977-78 AND THEN BECAME A B**** AGAIN OVER BUGSY. MY SISTER ALWAYS TELLS PEOPLE THAT I AM BITCHY, AND CONTROLING AND ITS HER WHO IS TOWARDS ME, MUM AND DAD SEE THE GAME SHE HAS BEEN PLAYING ON ME NOW. THEY SEE IT FOR THEMSELVES NOW, AND HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF IT. LOUISE DOES MUCH THE SAME THING TO ME AS WELL. TAKES EVERYTHING OUT ON ME.

BRIG AND ROSE AND STEVE WENT OUT TO NIGHT CLUBS AND SCREWED IN BEDS, I WAS KICKED OUT OF BEDROOMS, I ONLY WENT OUT WITH THEM ONCE FOR A DRIVE… I DID NOT LIKE BRIG TELLING ME TO ROOT MY BOOT, BUT I ALWAYS KNEW I WAS NOT AS IMPORTANT OR AS SPECIAL OR AS PRETTY AS BRIG… HER MOTHER USED TO FORCE ME TO LOOK AT ALL HER CLOTHES AND PRETTY THINGS TO IDOLIZE AND WANT TO BE LIKE BRIG, ONE DAY I GREW UP AND REALISED I DID NOT WANT TO BE LIKE BRIG BECAUSE SHE WAS NEVER A REAL FRIEND TO ME, SHE USED ME, FUCKED GUYS AND THEN BLAMED ME AND TOOK EVERY PROBLEM OUT ON ME WHEN THINGS WENT WRONG IN HER LIFE JUST LIKE ROSE AND LOUISE DID… ALWAYS BLAME BLAME BLAME BLAME BLAME…

my sister says (youre problem is you do not have any friends, but you can not make friends as good as I can) and as a teenager she would say (you do not have a boyfriend no one wants you because you are fat! but you could not be happy unless you were with CHRIST!) …

confusing, wounded, jaded, hurt!!!!