He made me take a bath with his dogs. I wore nothing but a large, baggy white t-shirt. He never threatened me. He never bribed me. I just let it happen. I didn’t want it to happen. I was scared that if I did say something then he would begin to threaten me. It was the thought of what could happen. My grandparents almost every night would call me down from my room into the living room. They’d say, “Does he touch you?” “No.” “Does he tell you to say no?” “No.” “Does he touch you anywhere?” “No.”
I denied everything. I always said no. He was my mom’s boyfriend at that time. I was 11. She dumped him and I figured she noticed and did it for the sake of me. Earlier today, my boyfriend got caught sneaking over to my house at 2:44 am. He was almost arrested.
My mom asked me, “Why do you always try to hide things from me? Why are you so secretive about men?”
I told her that it was because of HIM. She made it clear to me that she had no idea what was going on. I’ve never mentioned this to my mother and it has been 4 years. 4 years of silence. She says we have to talk about it but I don’t want to. I don’t want to talk about it. I’ve ignored it for 4 years. I don’t want to bring it back up.
The man who did this to me is now married. As far as I know, they’re happy. The scary thing is that the woman he married. Has a daughter. Who is my age.
I don’t want to go to court and s***. I don’t want to be that girl who rips a (probably) happy family apart. I don’t want to crush anyone. I just want to not think about it.