I am 30. I moved out at thirteen when our lives were turned upside down by divorce, addiction and mental illness. I was the youngest and was left behind. I went to live with a relative who was a recovering crack addict but who still did drugs. Even with all the faults and suffering of her own of serious mental illness, she was the very only one who stepped up to help me. Needless to say, I haven’t had a lot of experience with good choice making! It has been a struggle for years, even though I managed to graduate high school and always have good jobs there was an underlying problem all the time. Finally, I’m realizing just how crazy this all really was and try to heal. I don’t want to turn my back on my mother and sister but as I go on with my journey I can see more and more this may be necessary. I still don’t know how to trust and form relationships, but I will. I hold myself accountable for my own bad decision making now. I’m nobody’s victim. That’s the first step, focus on me. I have a friend who always turn people against me everytime and when she is lonely she comes back to me again. I try to end our friendship and always feels sorry for her because most of our colleagues hate her attitude and behaviour, I’m crying as I’m writting this because she lied and told my best friend that I’m secrectly having an affair with her husband which is not true. I don’t know why I can never learn and leave her in peace.
