Also 3 months is a lot of space not being able to talk to someone . I still missed you but I guess I accepted it . I didn’t expect to hear from you on my

6 years

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Also 3 months is a lot of space not being able to talk to someone . I still missed you but I guess I accepted it . I didn’t expect to hear from you on my birthday that’s why I stayed busy and made plans ….and I never thought you’d call back when I texted on my friends phone and yes I realize it was a mixup …but that was kind of a letdown in itself . Who wouldn’t be excited someone they thought was their best friend actually did want to talk to them . It was a little sad that wasn’t the case but I guess point I’ve cried every day . It made me realize how much I missed and wanted to hear from you all over again

Of course I wanted to talk to fix things and be your friend I wanted to catch up but I would’ve settle just being able to make peace if I had to go . I really missed you . What I would have given to have talked to you even one last time . Its devastating knowing I can’t , that you don’t want that …or any communication really . Not throwing a pity party it’s just how I felt . I’m not even wanted here but I am stuck . Its an awful feeling . If you don’t want me here why would you think I want to be?

I hope someday its possible to talk again , although I know it won’t be anytime soon and on your timetable . I def I know I can’t call or text or video again so it’s sort of all in your court isn’t it ? It’s already been 3 months just knowing it could be 3 more, maybe 9 maybe 2 years maybe never . S**** . I’m sad

I respect your choice to keep things that way though . Right now I just wish I was dead . I’m so lonely this week has been so isolating and awful , every time something like this happens where I’m left behind it’s like another reminder how I’m not even like a real person . Just some animal that doesn’t belong anywhere . Its not your problem I’ll deal on my own but like when this is all you know and how people treat you you’d be fucked up too my own parents do it . I just wish I could be good enough for someone to keep around I’m just so lonely it’s not your problem I guess I’m just trying to explain. It’s not you it’s just a story of my life I’m happy that you’re doing better and you have a right to MoveOn I’m sorry that I tried to cling so hard. You don’t even like me I don’t even know what the hell I was clinging to

Could you do me a favor I understand you don’t want to ever talk to me again or see me or be part of my life but would you do the kindness if you see somebody in my situation who does need somebody… Or who is alone or excluded please would you reach out again and be their friend? It might make all the difference in the world. I’m not saying for me I’m seeing for someone else just please continue to pay it forward. I love you I miss you

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I know people with disabilities can’t help it. I’m not trying to be cruel but social media needs to hide the videos because those with severe malformations look incredibly creepy. I think it could possibly give someone nightmares. I’m not trying to be cruel. Just honest. I’ve seen Halloween anamatronics look less scary than the biggest majority of them.