I m********* out of anger several times a day since the age of 5 … do not tell me to be someone else now, when you could have made a difference in my world a long time ago and been there for me. you can’t know how it felt being abused and belittled by brigette year in and year out … her telling me to root my boot when I was a child… her gang ups with those b****** like ellen, her s***** degrading, you can not know how much I am sick of my sister ruining my education and career and love life and the way she has ruined my c***, my life, the lies people have pushed at me. you can not know how sick of it I am… I m********* and cry thinking how much more can I take of her here, of the constant games of these black people…do you know what it is like to have every man you like taken from you from guys at school to stars you know or just anyone you fancy and say “oh he is cute”… do you know how that feels? so desperate to have a f*** cuz you been waiting for too many years for someone who is always going to let you down. and I am sick of being forced fucked by the world, by old men, by sleeze bag men who are wrong for me. where is my college boy I always wanted studying a professional degree? where are you? where are you??? I cry and scream in my head. where are you? stop letting me down. stop hurting me. you can not know the pain… of not knowing love or friends or career or money of your own. your self respect. I am broken again.
