13 years
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i think im falling in love with my “friend with benefits” After i said no to our relationship growing in to something more, after i got back together with my bf of 5 years, after i slept with him twice more, after he told me that we can’t continue to see each other outside of work anymore because of the “moral issue”, and after i asked him what if i was single? what then, and all he could say was “ï don’t know, it gets complicated after that”

this being a guy who wants nothing more than to be in a relationship, who desperately wants a gf and has openly admitted that he wishes he could skip the whole 3 months of dating and immediately jump into that comfortableness and safety of being with someone who you know wants to be with you for the long haul. That he wishes he could meet someone who understands his crazy work schedule, that he doesn’t need to explain himself to, that gets him.

and i want to scream at him that i could be that person if only he had asked. if only i knew for sure that he wanted a relationship with me, not just the convenience of amazing s** with someone who you can talk about anything with. including the girls hes trying to date.

…but i cant. i made my choice, and now im drowning myself in the same lyrics over and over again

I wish I was your favourite girl
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world

Basically, I wish that you loved me
I wish that you needed me

I wish that we could see if we could be something

I don’t wanna waste the weekend
If you don’t love me pretend
A few more hours then it’s time to go
…I wonder how youll keep warm
It’s too late to cry
Too broken to move on

I was praying that you and me might end up together
It’s like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert
But I’m holding you closer than most ’cause you are my heaven

New Confession

I played with my mom’s bod during my high school days she was all broken back then her parents died one after other in the same year after that my dad cheated on her and we left him to live in her parents house there I used to blame her for our situation and me frustrated would always end up arguing with her untill she gets into tears and accepts her defeat that made me felt bad later but the same would happen again after a day or two one after another argument made me felt as a superior male over her in the house that made me felt as a dominant one over a broken submissive female that soon made me want to get her ready for reliving my frustrations or for accepting me as a mating male in bed, as I kept winning such arguments frequently making her in tears surrender, one night i went into her bed late after she got asleep I and crawled under her blanket for the first few times I tried groping her I use to grab her b**bs she woke up scold me as I’m yours “fu**in mother you idiot” and go to the other room this happened alot of times but with every night I played more with her b**bs and then pinching and pulling her ni**les one night I slid my hand into her p*n*ty and rubbed her c*it as she tried getting up I grabbed her with the other are and my legs around hers she tried hard but I kept on moving ahead with what I was doing soon she got so wet she covered her mouth with her hands and started crying I could clearly feel her getting swelled up down there with every passing second more slippery sticky stuff coming out while she was in tears crying with one hand on her mouth and another one trying to pull my hand out but I kept f******** her roughly until I felt her cl*t pumping on my fingers, she cu**ed with shaking org**m. Right after that I left her she got up and went to the other room.

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