Seen on a gravestone:
Here lies the body of Mary Knox who gave a thousand men the pox.
Here she lies but not forgotten.
Her Heart was big but her c*** was rotten.

Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard.
To give her poor dog rover a bone.
But as she bent over.
Rover Drove her.
And gave her a bone of his own.

Heard the one about the Kiwi farmer who gave an Italian worker a job
First day, the farmer went out to see what his Ding was doing and he was drinking the cows wee wee, out of the communal animal s*** pond.
Second Day he was f****** the hens in the Chicken Coop.
Third day he had his ear pressed to his prize bulls a****** while it was having a s***.
So he went up to the man and said “unless you give me a good explanation of what you have been doing, you are fired”.
The Italian worker said, when I was in Italy Boss, I wanted to be just like a Kiwi (New Zealander) and I was told that to be like you, I had to act like you, which was: Drink zee Piss, Chase the chooks and listen to the Bull S***.
Gotcha!!

Why does a Baker wear a white hat?
To keep his head warm!!