I know people laugh at my expense, I’m always been weird when it comes to expression and even my serious face makes people guffaw. My family just tolerates me because I’m emotionally needy tool. so I have slowly stopped being dependent on them or anybody to live all on my own, it is difficult to just leave your family, especially mother, she calls me once in a while but sometimes she forgets to call and I start feeling this stress and panic but I don’t call her. I just want to forget every single person that has ever been in my life, I cry sometimes and that painful noises I let out came to notice of my neighbor and they complained to the house owner, now he will be coming over to just look around and see everything is fine. I know I don’t pray or celebrate festivals and unluckily neighbor guys are very religious. I have not harmed a single soul or disrespectful to anybody and all I want is to be left alone. Sometimes I feel I must try alcohol and drugs, my whole life I have been this good person by all society standards but society rejects me. Maybe people try to show off they are all right because they are secretly not all right, but I’m totally fine person with no bad habits and I’m humble, but I’m the weird one who gets looks and laughed at. I really hope some day I will left alone because I can’t function in “normal ” society