Myths & Stereotypes about R***

It is vital for people who work with s***** offence victims that the myths regarding s***** offences are exposed. It must also be acknowledged by those of us working with s***** offence victims that we are not always exempt from believing these myths to be true.

These myths have the effect of:
•Increasing the trauma experienced by the s***** offence victim.
•Encouraging prejudice regarding the liability of both the victim and the accused in the matter.
•Slowing down or preventing the recovery of the victim.
•Discouraging victims from reporting the offence.
•Providing the s** offender’s defence lawyers with the means to assist the offenders in escaping conviction for the crime or reducing the sentence that they are given.
•Hampering society’s understanding as to the causes of s***** offences and the seriousness of its effect on victims. Through this, victims are denied the support and assistance that they need, to heal from the experience of s***** violation.

Stereotypes and myths about r*** involve ideas about:
•Who is s******* violated
•Who commits s***** crimes
•How and where s***** offences occur
•Why s***** offences occur

MYTH: S** workers cannot be s******* violated.

S** workers have the same right as any other person to refuse s***** activity. We tend to believe that a s** worker is unlikely to experience forced s***** activity as damaging. We also believe that by working as a s** worker s/he is inviting s***** attacks and therefore has no one to blame but her/him self. It is important that we try to understand the complex dynamics which result in a person choosing to work in this area and that s** workers be treated with the respect and dignity which is their constitutional right.

MYTH: Women who wear provocative or revealing clothing are inviting s***** violation.

Appearance and clothing have absolutely nothing to do with who is violated. Victims seldom fit the stereotypical image of the fashion model and get raped regardless of what they are wearing at the time, be it jeans and a sweatshirt, a sari, a g-string bikini, or a nun’s habit. It is often implied that when a woman or girl wears provocative clothing she is inviting an attack on herself and has no right to complain should she be s******* assaulted in these circumstances. While many men may well become aroused when seeing a woman who is dressed in revealing clothing very few of those men choose to s******* assault. When one does, the responsibility for the incident lies with the attacker.

MYTH: It is mostly promiscuous young women who are s******* assaulted.

Due to emotional stability and physical strength younger women are seen to be easier targets for s***** assault, however, women and girls of all, races, ages and social classes have been s******* assaulted. Lifestyle and personality have nothing to do with it. Men and boys are not exempt from s***** assault. A further implication is that promiscuous women are “fair game”, under no circumstances does any person have the right or justification to impose their will onto another.

MYTH: Victims of s***** assault will have wounds and bruises on their bodies.

A woman need not be physically hurt in order for her to have been raped. Most men are physically stronger than most women and need not use violence to coerce a woman into doing what she is told to do. It is for this reason also that abusers seldom need to use force or even threaten force in order to ensure the submission of their child victims. It is not uncommon for a victim to be threatened with the safety of her/his loved ones (children, siblings etc.), many victims respond to this by sacrificing themselves in order to protect those that s/he cares about. A victim may also be so terrified (“paralysed with fear”) that s/he is unable to offer resistance. Weapons may be used to threaten her/him into submitting against her/his will. R*** very often includes threats on the victim’s life. Submission is often seen to be the only means of survival.

MYTH: Gay men and lesbians deserve to be s******* assaulted because they are “unnatural”.

Many members of society believe that homosexual people deserve to be s******* violated because their choice of s***** partners is seen as being unnatural. The trauma experienced by a homosexual person is no different to that experienced by any heterosexual person (see R*** Trauma Syndrome). It is unconstitutional to discriminate against anybody on the basis of s***** orientation and once again homosexual people, are also afforded the right to dignity and freedom from all forms of violence.

MYTH: the majority of s***** offences occur between people who do not know each other.

A larger percentage of s***** offences committed, occur between people who know each other. Reporting these incidents is often more difficult due to intensified feelings of guilt and the complexities that arise from knowing the perpetrator, the victim may be torn by a sense of loyalty to other family members, common friends or even the perpetrator. Reporting the incident may also serve to further isolate the victim from her/his support network. S** offenders include: acquaintances, relatives (uncles, step-fathers, brothers, fathers, cousins), unrelated household members, boyfriends and friends, neighbours, employers, doctors, as well as strangers.

MYTH: S** offenders have a mental illness.

Research has shown that only five percent of rapists can be classified as being mentally ill. Most s** offenders are, in fact, seemingly normal men who are seen as fit to carry responsibility at work, in the home and more generally in society. This belief that a mental illness causes s** offenders to commit these crimes means that people are generally reluctant to view a seemingly normal person as a perpetrator. Many perpetrators are allowed to walk freely in society due to their profession or their stature and standing in the community. In many cases we tend to view the complainant as being mentally unstable for “wrongfully” accusing these perpetrators.

MYTH: Most cases involve black men s******* assaulting white women.

Most s***** offences occur between people of the same race, in the case where “cross racial” s***** assault occurs, cases of black women being s******* assaulted by white men are more frequently reported than the other way around. The political history of this country has influenced this bias strongly. Historically black people in South Africa did not have the same legal resource as white people to report crimes of this nature without opening themselves up to further abuse from the system.

MYTH: A woman cannot s******* violate another person.

Because power and control are often the motivating factor in s***** offences it is physically possible for a woman to force another person to engage in s***** activity. Due to the physical strength of men in relation to women it is generally far more difficult for a woman to violate a man, however under certain circumstances it is possible. It must be noted that the number of women perpetrators is fractional in comparison to the number of men who perpetrate s***** offences. S***** violence is also possible between women in lesbian relationships.

MYTH: A woman often causes her s***** assault by going into an unsafe situation such as a bad neighbourhood or a bar.

Women are more likely to be s******* assaulted in their own homes or in places familiar to them than anywhere else. It is true that it is not always possible to avoid walking in deserted areas. The idea that the woman causes the r*** by being in a certain place unfairly places responsibility for the r*** onto her. There is no place in which a woman can be said to be completely safe from s***** assault.

MYTH: R*** consists of rough heterosexual s***** i**********.

Forced s***** activity can last anywhere from a few minutes to a number of days. The legal definition of r*** is a physical attack in which the p**** penetrates the v*****, People may also be s******* violated with objects such as sticks, guns or broken bottles. S/he may be orally, anally or vaginally penetrated. Guns, knives, and other dangerous objects may be used to threaten the victim. R*** is often accompanied by verbal abuse, the main objective being the degrading of the victim. While the legal definitions currently view penile penetration of the v***** as being more serious than other forms of s***** violation, these other methods of violation may often be experienced as being as traumatic by the victim.

MYTH: Most women have a secret desire to be raped

Some women may think about being raped but this in no way means that they want it to happen. We have control over our thoughts and are able to stop at any time. While being s******* assaulted, all control is taken away from the victim. S***** assault is a brutal attack, it is humiliating and sometimes victims are badly hurt. No person wants or enjoys s***** assault.

MYTH: women say no when they mean yes.

This myth questions the intelligence of any person who believes it. It denies the communication that occurs between people on levels besides verbal communication (body language, eye contact etc.). Further, women and girls in our society are taught that there is often no point in saying no as it has little or no effect. They are taught to be submissive and do as they are told. The chances are that a woman who says no initially, means it, and only gives in at a later stage due to pressure to do so. We need to consider more deeply a persons’ reasons for eventually giving in or remaining quiet when they don’t wish to have s** with someone.

MYTH: Once a man is s******* aroused he is unable to control himself.

We all know what it is like to get s******* excited to the point where there is nothing we want more that the complete the s***** act. We are all able to choose to stop there and wait for the feeling to subside (which most of us have done at some point). In a typical respectful relationship, while the one partner may want to continue and feel resentful, they have no right to insist on any s***** acts to which the other partner has refused. S***** offenders choose not to.

MYTH: Men r*** for s**.

Only one aspect of s***** violence is about the s**. S***** violence is more about power and control. A s***** offence occurs because someone wants exert control over someone else and s***** behaviour is used as the medium for this. It is through the act of forcing someone else to do something against her will that a s***** offender gains a sense of power. This gives the offender the opportunity to degrade and humiliate that person through the force of their own will.

The Consequences of these myths and misconceptions

Consider a woman who walks to her car in a quiet parking lot, a man then rushes out of the shadows and presses a knife to her throat, he then forces her to engage in s***** i********** with him, threatening to kill her if she struggles or screams.

Or a woman who wakes up in the early hours of the morning to find a man touching her leg. She struggles against him, he hits her repeatedly until she submits to s***** i**********.

A family invite friends to celebrate the new year, one of the guests, who is intoxicated forces a young child to perform s***** acts with him.

These scenarios are relatively easy to describe as s***** offences and the victims would easily gain our sympathy. We may, however, still question why she had walked on her own to her car, or why she did not have burglar bars installed at her home. For the most part, however, we would be outraged and do whatever was possible to ensure that the perpetrator be brought to justice – as we should.

The question becomes somewhat more complex in a certain instances:

Where the perpetrator and victim knew each other prior to the attack

It is fairly commonly held that women will “cry r***” out of spite towards the accused (consider the recently scrapped cautionary rule in s***** offence cases), especially if there is any possibility that he had rejected her at a point in the past. While this is certainly a possibility, the frequency of this occurring is substantially less then many would like to believe. Consider the implications for a person who lays any charge concerning A s***** offence (being questioned by frequently unsympathetic police officials, enduring the medical examination for forensic evidence, the questioning of her character and morals by peers and community, the humiliation of cross examination by the defence attorney in court). These clearly act as a deterrent to the laying of false charges. The caution exercised to ensure that someone who is falsely accused of a s***** offence is not found guilty may be over exercised, with the consequence that offenders walk out of court with a not guilty verdict and are released into society where they may continue to commit s***** offences if they so wish. Instead of focussing only on the complainant’s reasons for making a false accusation, it would be beneficial to also consider, what the consequences of such an action would be on that person.

Because s***** offences between acquaintances is so common, we often hear of women who withdraw charges once they have been made. This leads to the common assumption that she laid a false charge. What we fail to consider is the influence that the existing relationship between the victim and the offender later has on her decision. The possibility of intimidation is increased when the accused and the complainant have a previous relationship of any nature and the societal pressure to discontinue with the case also increases. It is important that we consider these as possible factors before assuming that the complainant has been untruthful in her original allegation of a s***** offence.

In cases involving young women and girls

When hearing about an alleged s***** offence against a young woman we often immediately question what she may have done to cause the incident. Men are viewed as being at the mercy of these complaints in s***** matters. The perception is that a ‘healthy young man’ is provoked into performing a s***** act with the complainant through her behaviour or dress. This is not exclusive to younger women.

Where the complainant had consumed alcohol

We assume that a woman who consumes alcohol is in some way more responsible for s***** violence perpetrated against her than a woman who did not. This is based on the assumption that a respectable woman should not drink or become intoxicated this is not extended to men and is clearly biased. To say that by consuming alcohol a woman sends a message to men that she is s******* available, is ludicrous. Due to the effects of alcohol, an intoxicated woman may provide an easier target for a s***** offence than a woman who has not consumed alcohol.

Summary

The above factors often lead to the assumption that due to her behaviour or personality, the victim is not in a position to be outraged regarding the incident as s***** activity is a natural progression of those situations and relationships, when the issue of forced s***** activity is raised under those circumstances we tend to view these incidents as being less serious than those mentioned in the first group.

We often emphasise the behaviour and actions of the victim in these situations and focus our attention on what she did to provoke the accused and cause him to later insist on s***** activity regardless of her refusals. We fail to place the same emphasis on the actions of the accused. We fail to question his decision to disregard the wishes of the victim.
This takes the responsibility for the offence away from the offender and places it, instead, on the victim.

This compounds the trauma that the victim suffers on account of being violated and makes it more difficult for her overcome the effects that the s***** violation has on her life. No person is responsible for the s***** violence they experience. It is the person who chooses to violate who is at fault. It is the offender not the victim who is the cause of the s***** offence.

Samantha Waterhouse
June 2000

It is vital for people who work with s***** offence victims that the myths regarding s***** offences are exposed. It must also be acknowledged by those of us working with s***** offence victims that we are not always exempt from believing these myths to be true.

These myths have the effect of:

Increasing the trauma experienced by the s***** offence victim.

Encouraging prejudice regarding the liability of both the victim and the accused in the matter.

Slowing down or preventing the recovery of the victim.

Discouraging victims from reporting the offence.

Providing the s** offender’s defence lawyers with the means to assist the offenders in escaping conviction for the crime or reducing the sentence that they are given.

Hampering society’s understanding as to the causes of s***** offences and the seriousness of its effect on victims. Through this, victims are denied the support and assistance that they need, to heal from the experience of s***** violation.

Stereotypes and myths about r*** involve ideas about:

Who is s******* violated

Who commits s***** crimes

How and where s***** offences occur

Why s***** offences occur

MYTH: S** workers cannot be s******* violated.

S** workers have the same right as any other person to refuse s***** activity. We tend to believe that a s** worker is unlikely to experience forced s***** activity as damaging. We also believe that by working as a s** worker s/he is inviting s***** attacks and therefore has no one to blame but her/him self. It is important that we try to understand the complex dynamics which result in a person choosing to work in this area and that s** workers be treated with the respect and dignity which is their constitutional right.

MYTH: Women who wear provocative or revealing clothing are inviting s***** violation.

Appearance and clothing have absolutely nothing to do with who is violated. Victims seldom fit the stereotypical image of the fashion model and get raped regardless of what they are wearing at the time, be it jeans and a sweatshirt, a sari, a g-string bikini, or a nun’s habit. It is often implied that when a woman or girl wears provocative clothing she is inviting an attack on herself and has no right to complain should she be s******* assaulted in these circumstances. While many men may well become aroused when seeing a woman who is dressed in revealing clothing very few of those men choose to s******* assault. When one does, the responsibility for the incident lies with the attacker.

MYTH: It is mostly promiscuous young women who are s******* assaulted.

Due to emotional stability and physical strength younger women are seen to be easier targets for s***** assault, however, women and girls of all, races, ages and social classes have been s******* assaulted. Lifestyle and personality have nothing to do with it. Men and boys are not exempt from s***** assault. A further implication is that promiscuous women are “fair game”, under no circumstances does any person have the right or justification to impose their will onto another.

MYTH: Victims of s***** assault will have wounds and bruises on their bodies.

A woman need not be physically hurt in order for her to have been raped. Most men are physically stronger than most women and need not use violence to coerce a woman into doing what she is told to do. It is for this reason also that abusers seldom need to use force or even threaten force in order to ensure the submission of their child victims. It is not uncommon for a victim to be threatened with the safety of her/his loved ones (children, siblings etc.), many victims respond to this by sacrificing themselves in order to protect those that s/he cares about. A victim may also be so terrified (“paralysed with fear”) that s/he is unable to offer resistance. Weapons may be used to threaten her/him into submitting against her/his will. R*** very often includes threats on the victim’s life. Submission is often seen to be the only means of survival.

MYTH: Gay men and lesbians deserve to be s******* assaulted because they are “unnatural”.

Many members of society believe that homosexual people deserve to be s******* violated because their choice of s***** partners is seen as being unnatural. The trauma experienced by a homosexual person is no different to that experienced by any heterosexual person (see R*** Trauma Syndrome). It is unconstitutional to discriminate against anybody on the basis of s***** orientation and once again homosexual people, are also afforded the right to dignity and freedom from all forms of violence.

MYTH: the majority of s***** offences occur between people who do not know each other.

A larger percentage of s***** offences committed, occur between people who know each other. Reporting these incidents is often more difficult due to intensified feelings of guilt and the complexities that arise from knowing the perpetrator, the victim may be torn by a sense of loyalty to other family members, common friends or even the perpetrator. Reporting the incident may also serve to further isolate the victim from her/his support network. S** offenders include: acquaintances, relatives (uncles, step-fathers, brothers, fathers, cousins), unrelated household members, boyfriends and friends, neighbours, employers, doctors, as well as strangers.

MYTH: S** offenders have a mental illness.

Research has shown that only five percent of rapists can be classified as being mentally ill. Most s** offenders are, in fact, seemingly normal men who are seen as fit to carry responsibility at work, in the home and more generally in society. This belief that a mental illness causes s** offenders to commit these crimes means that people are generally reluctant to view a seemingly normal person as a perpetrator. Many perpetrators are allowed to walk freely in society due to their profession or their stature and standing in the community. In many cases we tend to view the complainant as being mentally unstable for “wrongfully” accusing these perpetrators.

MYTH: Most cases involve black men s******* assaulting white women.

Most s***** offences occur between people of the same race, in the case where “cross racial” s***** assault occurs, cases of black women being s******* assaulted by white men are more frequently reported than the other way around. The political history of this country has influenced this bias strongly. Historically black people in South Africa did not have the same legal resource as white people to report crimes of this nature without opening themselves up to further abuse from the system.

MYTH: A woman cannot s******* violate another person.

Because power and control are often the motivating factor in s***** offences it is physically possible for a woman to force another person to engage in s***** activity. Due to the physical strength of men in relation to women it is generally far more difficult for a woman to violate a man, however under certain circumstances it is possible. It must be noted that the number of women perpetrators is fractional in comparison to the number of men who perpetrate s***** offences. S***** violence is also possible between women in lesbian relationships.

MYTH: A woman often causes her s***** assault by going into an unsafe situation such as a bad neighbourhood or a bar.

Women are more likely to be s******* assaulted in their own homes or in places familiar to them than anywhere else. It is true that it is not always possible to avoid walking in deserted areas. The idea that the woman causes the r*** by being in a certain place unfairly places responsibility for the r*** onto her. There is no place in which a woman can be said to be completely safe from s***** assault.

MYTH: R*** consists of rough heterosexual s***** i**********.

Forced s***** activity can last anywhere from a few minutes to a number of days. The legal definition of r*** is a physical attack in which the p**** penetrates the v*****, People may also be s******* violated with objects such as sticks, guns or broken bottles. S/he may be orally, anally or vaginally penetrated. Guns, knives, and other dangerous objects may be used to threaten the victim. R*** is often accompanied by verbal abuse, the main objective being the degrading of the victim. While the legal definitions currently view penile penetration of the v***** as being more serious than other forms of s***** violation, these other methods of violation may often be experienced as being as traumatic by the victim.

MYTH: Most women have a secret desire to be raped

Some women may think about being raped but this in no way means that they want it to happen. We have control over our thoughts and are able to stop at any time. While being s******* assaulted, all control is taken away from the victim. S***** assault is a brutal attack, it is humiliating and sometimes victims are badly hurt. No person wants or enjoys s***** assault.

MYTH: women say no when they mean yes.

This myth questions the intelligence of any person who believes it. It denies the communication that occurs between people on levels besides verbal communication (body language, eye contact etc.). Further, women and girls in our society are taught that there is often no point in saying no as it has little or no effect. They are taught to be submissive and do as they are told. The chances are that a woman who says no initially, means it, and only gives in at a later stage due to pressure to do so. We need to consider more deeply a persons’ reasons for eventually giving in or remaining quiet when they don’t wish to have s** with someone.

MYTH: Once a man is s******* aroused he is unable to control himself.

We all know what it is like to get s******* excited to the point where there is nothing we want more that the complete the s***** act. We are all able to choose to stop there and wait for the feeling to subside (which most of us have done at some point). In a typical respectful relationship, while the one partner may want to continue and feel resentful, they have no right to insist on any s***** acts to which the other partner has refused. S***** offenders choose not to.

MYTH: Men r*** for s**.

Only one aspect of s***** violence is about the s**. S***** violence is more about power and control. A s***** offence occurs because someone wants exert control over someone else and s***** behaviour is used as the medium for this. It is through the act of forcing someone else to do something against her will that a s***** offender gains a sense of power. This gives the offender the opportunity to degrade and humiliate that person through the force of their own will.

The Consequences of these myths and misconceptions

Consider a woman who walks to her car in a quiet parking lot, a man then rushes out of the shadows and presses a knife to her throat, he then forces her to engage in s***** i********** with him, threatening to kill her if she struggles or screams.

Or a woman who wakes up in the early hours of the morning to find a man touching her leg. She struggles against him, he hits her repeatedly until she submits to s***** i**********.

A family invite friends to celebrate the new year, one of the guests, who is intoxicated forces a young child to perform s***** acts with him.

These scenarios are relatively easy to describe as s***** offences and the victims would easily gain our sympathy. We may, however, still question why she had walked on her own to her car, or why she did not have burglar bars installed at her home. For the most part, however, we would be outraged and do whatever was possible to ensure that the perpetrator be brought to justice – as we should.

The question becomes somewhat more complex in a certain instances:

Where the perpetrator and victim knew each other prior to the attack

It is fairly commonly held that women will “cry r***” out of spite towards the accused (consider the recently scrapped cautionary rule in s***** offence cases), especially if there is any possibility that he had rejected her at a point in the past. While this is certainly a possibility, the frequency of this occurring is substantially less then many would like to believe. Consider the implications for a person who lays any charge concerning A s***** offence (being questioned by frequently unsympathetic police officials, enduring the medical examination for forensic evidence, the questioning of her character and morals by peers and community, the humiliation of cross examination by the defence attorney in court). These clearly act as a deterrent to the laying of false charges. The caution exercised to ensure that someone who is falsely accused of a s***** offence is not found guilty may be over exercised, with the consequence that offenders walk out of court with a not guilty verdict and are released into society where they may continue to commit s***** offences if they so wish. Instead of focussing only on the complainant’s reasons for making a false accusation, it would be beneficial to also consider, what the consequences of such an action would be on that person.

Because s***** offences between acquaintances is so common, we often hear of women who withdraw charges once they have been made. This leads to the common assumption that she laid a false charge. What we fail to consider is the influence that the existing relationship between the victim and the offender later has on her decision. The possibility of intimidation is increased when the accused and the complainant have a previous relationship of any nature and the societal pressure to discontinue with the case also increases. It is important that we consider these as possible factors before assuming that the complainant has been untruthful in her original allegation of a s***** offence.

In cases involving young women and girls

When hearing about an alleged s***** offence against a young woman we often immediately question what she may have done to cause the incident. Men are viewed as being at the mercy of these complaints in s***** matters. The perception is that a ‘healthy young man’ is provoked into performing a s***** act with the complainant through her behaviour or dress. This is not exclusive to younger women.

Where the complainant had consumed alcohol

We assume that a woman who consumes alcohol is in some way more responsible for s***** violence perpetrated against her than a woman who did not. This is based on the assumption that a respectable woman should not drink or become intoxicated this is not extended to men and is clearly biased. To say that by consuming alcohol a woman sends a message to men that she is s******* available, is ludicrous. Due to the effects of alcohol, an intoxicated woman may provide an easier target for a s***** offence than a woman who has not consumed alcohol.

Summary

The above factors often lead to the assumption that due to her behaviour or personality, the victim is not in a position to be outraged regarding the incident as s***** activity is a natural progression of those situations and relationships, when the issue of forced s***** activity is raised under those circumstances we tend to view these incidents as being less serious than those mentioned in the first group.

We often emphasise the behaviour and actions of the victim in these situations and focus our attention on what she did to provoke the accused and cause him to later insist on s***** activity regardless of her refusals. We fail to place the same emphasis on the actions of the accused. We fail to question his decision to disregard the wishes of the victim.

This takes the responsibility for the offence away from the offender and places it, instead, on the victim.

This compounds the trauma that the victim suffers on account of being violated and makes it more difficult for her overcome the effects that the s***** violation has on her life. No person is responsible for the s***** violence they experience. It is the person who chooses to violate who is at fault. It is the offender not the victim who is the cause of the s***** offence.