I wonder if this makes sense. My parents used to be very successful in China. They worked very hard and they earned lots of money etc. As a result, after moving to a different country, they started enjoying life in this country. They stayed at home all the time and they are always free. As a consequence they put lots of attention on me as I am the only daughter in the family.
I feel very stressful because most of my international friends only have one parent at home and the other parent is at their home country, working for the entire family. They are not poor but they run huge business so yea. Compare to them, my life seems so perfect, but actually it is a burden.
Earlier this year I found out that I am gay and this is stressing me out. My parents have put so much effort in raising me up and providing me the best education and lifestyle but I am gay, it is going to disappoint them so much…
I know I have a very traditional Asian mindset but I feel so painful that I am not able to be “normal”. I know its my life but my own life still associate with my parents’ lives.
As a consequence I built an Utopia for myself. I surround myself with classical music. I used to read lots of manga but I broke my heart when I fell for another girl that loves manga too but she is not gay. I stopped reading manga and locked myself in the practice room all day to practice the violin.
It is so much pain to be gay, while you have loving but homophobic parents. My life is a mess right now because I want to live my own life yet I don’t want to disappoint my parents.
