7 years
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I’m trans and the only thing I want is to be treated like the gender I am. I don’t understand why it’s so alien and so hard for people to understand. It’s not hurting anybody. People use the name I chose as infrequently as if it was just a casual nickname. And it HURtS. Does it *really* hurt you THAT bad to just call me by a different name and maybe even use different pronouns? I don’t even have any trans friends. Or really any lgbtq friends. I feel so alone, I’m like the ugly duckling. I can’t find anything that I can connect to people about- there’s no other artists where I live, nobody likes the same shows I like, nobody cares for the music I like, nobody seems to go through the same struggles as me and nobody can ever understand what the f*** I’m trying to communicate. I try to revel in the things other people like and celebrate when they celebrate, and cheer them up when they’re feeling down, but I might as well be living in a country where I barely know the language. Maybe I’m just autistic? Probably. Everything I ever say comes out in a different way than I’d like.

Please don’t hate me just because I’m trans, it *really* gets me in the mood for suicide

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I have to admit that I love to flash my c*** to adult women, of any age actually. I flash my c*** in my car, on webcams or in hotel windows overlooking parking lots or beaches like in Florida. My c*** is slightly larger than “average” but certainly not huge. Two women have told me that my c*** is really hard. I believe that several women have seen me though none have reported me and that’s a good thing.

One time in Florida I was laying on the lounge with my c*** surreptiously sticking out the side. Across the deck was a beautiful black haired lady in a bikini. She had really b*******. She was wearing sunglasses and getting some sun. Her lounge was slightly elevated but I couldn’t tell if her eyes were open. If they were she would have seen my c*** which of course was really exciting me. We were like that for about 15 minutes when another lady approached her and said something. She sat up, raised her glasses and took a clear look at me. She then lowered her glasses and resumed her position. She didn’t do or say anything. The only thing she did was bend her knee blocking my view between her legs. I didn’t trust the other lady so I left right away. That lady really took it in stride. I often wonder if she was offended, neutral or excited.

One night I was cruising with my c*** in my hand looking for a flashing opportunity. Up ahead was a girl hitchiking. She was wearing a loose dress from what I could see in the headlights and she was perfect. I decided to offer her a ride with my c*** out. If she got in, great and if she did not that was cool. I pulled up beside her and she opened the door. When that happened the interior light came on. She could see my c*** but I was so excited that c** exploded out of my c***. It happened so fast that I reached over, closed the door and took off.

I often wonder what she thought. Oh yeah, I also j******* to those memories.