7 years
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I guess because of the4 pack of whiskey…woke up late today almost 9am

As usual I look at my WhatsApp messages, today is slightly different. No good morning message.

Decide to pen down everything before my memory fades:
Those moments when we stalked at each other WhatsApp status / Profile picture

Those magic tricks you did to cheer my day (even thou some failed big time)

Those days when I bought you sweets

Those days when you texted me… When I’m in Bangkok,felt so happy receive your text

Those days when you scare me with my WeChat profile picture!!

Those naughty cheeky moments of you trying to xxxxx my xxxxxx. End up got rejected or smack… you said things like there’s a cat being offered a fish but end up the cat didn’t get to eat anything

Those moment when we exchange photos of our “Love Plant”.

Those moment when you boss around.. You said things like “Do not change topic. Come down”. To be honest I kind of like it.

Those moment when you said “The most painful thing is when you are physically far apart but yet the heart is so near”. and Every song reminds me of you…..

Those moment when I felt so loved. Video calling when I’m in MEL…. I wish to travel with you to a far country where nobody know us. That’s when we can behave normally. No worries, no hold back, no guilt just love…. just us

Those moments when you came so close to me…many a times I wanted to give in but I didn’t… its not because I don’t love enough…Besides the betrayer guilt, I guess you wont get to know it anyway…

Those days when you surprised me with the hidden black bag in your jacket..haha good try, the “Boost” drink in Malaysia, the i love you candle, the happy balls, the scarf, the pillbox, the laptop bag, the clutch bag, the perfume. the white shirt, the flowers

01/05/2019
Hang on…
Frozen waterfall in Niagara Falls
Smile ☺ Always smiling. Life is defined as the collection of experiences and its intensity. Smile to a wonderful life. Have a great week. Catch up with you in May when you are free.
Ermm let me know when you are free. I’ll buy you lunch.

07/05/2019 🙂 When I felt bad then….
There was a cash withdrawal of S$1,700000.00 with your card ending 1234 on 05 May at xx.xx If you did not effect this… Kindly choose from the following options:
1) Good and Rich Swissroll (Chocolate/Kaya)
2) Starbucks Ice Mocha Frap low fat milk
3) Boost Drink (New)
4) KOi / Liho

Random messages
I’ve read it somewhere that if you receive a message early in the morning. It means that the person thinks of you before he/she go to sleep or the person is thinking of you the first thing he/she is awake. Lol
Hmmm….
I think I need to use more X**……
XXXXX is a good X**
I got a good morning msg today. Must go and check who sent it!

When you first hold my hands..
Didn’t want to wash my left hand last night
Too bad I have to bath. Should have wrap it with a plastic

When I had a fever, you rushed down with medication, drinks and mochi (mochi got stolen). I would consider that the first time I felt your love. I felt like a dead bird, but what surprise me was the energy (in love feeling) I had….still able to text you throughout my journey back home. I remembered I was shivering so badly in the car haha…

23/05/2019 (Our first break up)- Things you said….
Feeling logical now. Before I change my mind again. I don’t think I can it slowly So sorry for doing it now. What I wanted to say is on the online confession.
No point deleting. I Love X**.
I am crazy over you
I am In love with you and l like you.
X** loves X**..
Really bye now

24/05/2019 (A date to remember)
Sorry..
For what?
If I made you feel unhappy in anyway.
I failed my plan haha
Walked to star bucks.. Walked to car park. Went to café earlier
Too painful for me..
I’m really lost
I try to think of all the happy things.
I don’t know. I want to hug you and talk to you….i felt… You may be sad
I am sad knowing you are sad… I kept trying to find an excuse to look for you.

Those moment when you said things like “really like the so in love feeling you gave me Makes me so happy.. Just to see you. I just need you. (I like it very much when you say things like that.. I have understand myself better after knowing you. It takes both hands to clap. Your wanting brings out the unconditional love side of me. I don’t mind giving you all my love, my attention, my assurance, i wont even mind doing things that i wont do in my current. Is that love? I guess my answer is yes.

Time to go the gym…

New Confession

Living with my aunt continued…..i found the courage to tell her i was grateful for her help and guidance with my self pleasure addiction. She acknowledged it sincerely but also laughed, teasing me by saying that i would have thanked any woman for letting me touch myself while naked with me in her shower. But then she cupped my cheek in her hand and told me it was all going to be okay, that she would help me through all the shame and guilt amd awkwardness and embarassment of it all. We had a casual day watching endless old movies together. She noticed that occasionally i would be restless and knew i was feeling the urges to touch myself. She rightly told me to not obsess over my memories of our morning shower, and distracted me by making me look in detail at the actresses in the movies we watched. Details of what i found most attractive about them head to toe. As i answered she often simply commented that my answers were interesting and unexpected. She pushed me to even answer her questions about what i would want to do s e x ually with each of them. I ended up intensely aroused talking about all these things with her and when i would involuntarily reach down to myself she would remind me….only if i asked and she gave permission. By the end of the last movie i was aching to touch myself and she just looked at me smiling, knowing that i was so desperate to play with myself and so embarassed to ask, and she said she couldnt give permission if i did not ask. I said please, i got please what in response, and she made me have to ask the complete question. I finally got it out and was stunned when she said no. She told me to stand and turn my back to her and open my pants and get my e r e c tion adjusted upward and close my pants again. She took one of the vhs movies and put it playimg again, and told me to lay on the floor on my stomach facing the tv and watch. I obeyed and she told me that i could c u m when i wanted, and i reached under myself but she snapped a stern NO. That she did not say i could touch myself, only that i could c u m when i wanted. I was so frustrated and confused but as i loked at the actresses again and remembered all we had talked about them in explicit detail, i did not quite realize i had begun grinding my hips but soon i was actively dry h****** the floor. She eventually stood over me and put a foot on my b*** and told me to slow down, sometimes telling me to stop entirely, amd i was gasping and squirming with desire. Eventually she chose for me because when one actress appeared my hips squirmed even more and she said simply ,” her….c u m for her”. I began dry h****** frantically in my pants but the scene ended before i finished. My aunt rewound it and said….again. it was repeated several times until finally with my aunt encouraging and coaching me, telling me to re imagine the things i had said i wanted to do with that actress, finally i desperately sobbed and released inside my pants. My aunt sat down next to me on the floor, telling me i had done well, called me a good boy, which did the most unholy things to me emotionally and mentally, but she kepy telling me she was so proud of me and rubbing my back and shoilders as i caught my breath. Then a swat on my b*** cbeek and she said let’s get you cleaned up. We walked to the bathroom and i undressd while she started the shower but she told me to get in and get cleaned up, she was only there to make shre i did not try to sneakily m a s turbate without her. It was very disappointing but becsuse i had spent so much energy getting myself off in my pants dry h****** the floor that i was unsure i would have anyway. But as i showered to clean up i was reminded of the morning shower with my aunt and my body began getting aroused again and my aunt asked if my new e r e c tion was for her. I admitted it was and she made me admit that it was because i liked being watched naked and she sat there smiling and told me to remember i had to ask, and i had to admit that it was about her watchimg me. She was clothed and told me to stop looking down as i eagerly played with myself and told me that even a lesbian expects to be looked in the eye when they were the subject of someine’s self pleasure. When she could tell i was close she told me to c u m for her snd i did so instantly, moaning and gasping. Once i recovered and cleaned up she told me that she also expected me to thank her for letting me make myself c u m for her, and i swore i would never forget again. She helped me towel dry and told me to not bother getting dressed, that she didnt want to be forced to figure out if i got aroused again. She let me lay stretched out with my head on a pullow in her lap with her hand stroking my cheek until bedtime as she decided, and i was groggy from having c u m twice in short order. She slept in her bra and oanties spooning me from behind while i was still bare, and i drifted off quickly. I woke a few hours later realizing i was hard again and stirred, waking my aunt up. She had me lay on my back with her alongside me in the dark talking to me softly, telling me to think about the actress, talking quite explicitly, and it did not take long before i spurted on my stomach, mid o r g a s m crying out thank you, she made me say it fully, and she got a towel for me to clean up with. Next thimg i knew it was morning and she was tickling me and telling me it was morning shower time.

To be continued..

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