My life sure is something to regret on. My mom used to drink and smoke behind my back, I’ve already had oral s** and I’m too young to even be saying that. I’ve tried extremely hard to change since all of that has happened, and I hope I’m doing OK… I have an amazing boyfriend and we’ve been dating 5 months and I have made sure we go slow. We’ve only kissed a couple times, and I don’t think that’s bad because I also told my parents because of my guilt about it and they said it is fine for me to do that, just no more, which I don’t think I will ever even give up my virginity until I’m married. I try every day to sound like I’m a goody-goody-two-shoes but some people know my secrets. And some I can’t even look in the eye anymore because of guilt and shame.I want to change. I hope I’ve changed. I used to lie so much about everything and now I try to tell the truth the most I can. Although most people don’t ever change when they say they do, I want to. I want to remove the past. I’ve had so much guilt, I even question committing suicide. Which is also why I cut myself last year. Still going through some kind of phase. They call me ’emo’ and all this stuff and they don’t know how badly that makes me want to go home and keep my head under the water until I can’t s*** in another breath. Now, I’ve transformed to some girly-girl and I want people to notice. No more ’emo girl’!!! Look at her! That way, they can forget everything that happened. Perfect picture just the way it should of always been.
All Comments
Use your past to change yourself. You need a reference point. You need to look back 3 years from now and see the difference so you can be proud of your accomplishments. If you forget it all, nothing will change.
T.A.
Stop trying to change your self for peoples and societys approval. STOP STOP STOP!! Be yourself. Seriously. You’re find just the way you are. And your past helps in shaping your present and your future. Don’t regret it. Learn from it, use it, grow from it. You participated in oral sex. So what? Everyone has to experience and learn. You decided you didn’t enjoy doing it so early, then fine. Don’t do it anymore. But don’t beat up yourself about it. You’re wasting precious time of your life. Please STOP IT.
Be confident and beautiful just as you are, don’t change only improve what’s already good. You used to lie a lot? Because you keep hiding the real you trying to impress others. Stop that and the lieing will stop.
Lilith
fine* – Lilith