I failed my IB exams, and now I probably won’t get any economical support from the state. I have already been accepted into a university, where accomplishing generel study competence (some b******* we have in Norway) doesn’t matter.
However, the state requires that you have this in order to get any support from it. Which is stupid, cause I’m going abroad. And they don’t care about it.

I’ve already gotten a flat there, but I have to break off the contract if I don’t get any money. And I’m so scared, ’cause how am I ever gonna tell anyone about this?
Right now it feels like if I don’t get the economical support to go there, the only option for me is to kill myself.

This matter affects me physically, because I feel sick to the bone, and other times I just have to eat a lot. And it’s the worst at night, when everything is calming down, and I have nothing else to do in order to think about something else. And I despise myself. Cause I know I could have done better, and I’ve lied to my parents because of this matter and I just really, really hate myself. And I have to kill myself if this doesn’t work out.

I’m screaming for help, but I can’t tell anyone. I’m scared. I’m unable to cry about it – crying probably would have relieved some of the tension. I don’t know, I just want a hug and to cry it out. But I can’t. Too ashamed of myself. Cause it’s not gonna happen. I’m gonna fail it all, and become a disappointment to everyone.