I don’t believe in god. But I pray everyday for you to heal… Cause I can’t afford ever losing you, you, my best friend, my everything.
I don’t care wether the chances are still uncertain. I don’t care if no one knows when this could happen. The fact for me is that there is a chance,- and I don’t care if it’s tiny-,that you won’t be around some day.
You say I am a supergirl.. But Im no supergirl when you’re not around…
If it was up to me, you would be with me in Europe next year. And you would be here the day I would finally say, sincerly, “I’m ok, I’m happy, I’m a person I actually like”, cause anyway, you would be the reason this day might happen some day. You would even be here at my wedding, if I ever get married. You would be standing next to me, and I don’t care if this makes you look gay (aslan it’s not like I never offered you a certain bracelet that already did that job :p hm hm), and you would smile, and I won’t freak out. You would be there on the birth of my children too, you’ll be the fun uncle, the one who takes them walking in the same streets you’ve been taking me to lately, and who gives them their first cigarette, their first beer, who talks to them about hash maybe 😛 . And the story goes on… Never ending..
I know I’m not being rationnal. I know that you won’t probably be “always around”, that’s life. But someone once “told” me to just “believe”… So I believe… I believe in us, in a future together. Maybe if I believe strong enough all of this will just be real.
WHat we have is more than friendship. More than brotherhood maybe. We chose each others. But if I chose to have you in my life, I can’t chose to NOT have you. You’re a part of me now. You bring out the best of me… Whatever you may ever think, you’re really the best thing that ever happened to me… And I know you’re scared of this bond. I am too… Is is too strong to be good? But I realised today that I don’t care anymore. I’m happy. So why care?
Yeah I know, writing all of this might seem pointless.. I mean you already know all this I think… And anyway you’ll never check the site and read this… But you told me to cry today… Told me I HAD to let it out someday, that I couldnt restrain everything… Well I can’t cry.. I want to, but I just can’t lately. And there’s a quote to a writer we both like a lot which says “ecrire, c’est hurler sans bruit” (Marguerite Duras)… So I’m writing… I’m letting it all out… Thinking about us makes me smile. Writing about us makes it all go away…
Our friendship is the most beautiful love story I’ve ever lived.
People often ask themselves what is love. We’re living it..
