I have a heart murmur and when I get stressed out it can play up that is why I had to had to have a ecg recently. I don’t always take 3 painkillers at once but my doctor said I could if the pain is bad but not all the time and not to over dose. I am just in a bit of pain that is starting to ease a little. I don’t know how to relax anymore. just so much worry about future and money and so much worry over everything. health worries. I feel like there is no balance in my life and everything is spinning out of control.

I talk myself into anger a lot because it helps me see the truth whereas years ago I used to feel helpless and have a little cry alone or just not talk about it. my therapist would not let me talk about it, she likes everything turned into a circus and no such thing as privacy or professional confidentiality with her … I thought that is what you go to them for.

I feel like I have let myself down and I am tired.