Okay…I have a lot of secrets. For an 18 y.o. girl its normal, but I still wanna unload them. First would be my love for my batch mate. I loved him my whole H.S. life. When I explored, I’ve come to realize how sadistic I can be. Sometimes I fantasized of either beating him, ordering him around or tying him up then cutting him just to see his facial reactions, then I lick his wounds & s*** his blood. That dark & horrific. My second secret would be my s***** frustrations. I wanted to experience s**, b***, give bjs (though I doubt I can pull this off) & have a t******** with 2 males, preferably cute single guys of my age to 5 years older than me. My third secret would be my desire to kill, and my father’s (hopefully ex but I doubt it) s*** would be the top of my list. My 4th secret would be my physical state. I maybe dying; but I’ve never told anyone except 2 of my friends. I wanted no-one else, most esp my parents to find out. My 5th secret is my ongoing battle of choice: to live or to die. You can say I’m quite a suicidal person.