No one, friends or family, really know how often I have suicidal thoughts. I feel so angry so often that no one sees this constant internal struggle. How hard I fight to just make it through the day and how exhausted I am mentally. I fight so hard to wear a mask because I don’t want to be seen as weak or fragile. It used to be easier. I was better at it when I was younger. Now, I’m angry that I continue to wear the mask but too afraid not to, to let people see how much I struggle. I hate myself.