You went out tonight in a skirt and bare-midriff top. You asked me if you looked fat and I lied and said no. A moment later, you caught me smiling and asked why and I lied.

I laughed because you’ve gained so much weight and I find it comical. I’m sorry.

I look at photos of you four years ago and I’m shocked at how big you’ve gotten, but it’s no wonder since you go out drinking so much and then go to Taco Bell, or come home and make a big pot of spaghetti with butter and parmesan cheese, eat it and go straight to bed.

You’re fat, girlfriend. You’re heavy, overweight, chunky, flabby, out-of-shape, chubby.

Yes, you look fat.