my mother said she noticed that my sister had huge behavioral problems more then me. I was a very quiet child most of the time. my sister was always and still is disruptive of situations in shops she will pick up a bag and throw it on the ground and she was an adult. or she has yelled at people in public who were ranting or distressed over a issue. she will hit into me and throw objects at me for no reason. she is controlling to the point of she choses who I go out with and does not seem to recogonise that I have different needs to her. well, she does not recognize I have needs at all and never did.

if she has autism its on a different scale to me. she fights with everyone almost every day and is now 44 and is currently married in her 3rd marriage.

I think if I have some disorder if it is autism it not like my sisters as far as I don’t fight with people all the time. I have locked myself away to deal with her violence and abuse. and don’t socialize as much. then when I meet people I feel like they are not communicating to me proberly.

example, my cousin sue who is about 65 seems to think its my responsibility to get her young men about my age to f*** on the side while she is married and has 2 grown sons of 40 years or more. she does not seem to recognize that I have a need for a marriage and relationship with a man and she is competitive since my childhood and teens flirting with men younger then her who should have been looking at me. then she did it again to me about 20 years ago and then her sister started doing it and now I have had hundreds of people doing this to me.

I don’t know how to commutate to them about my needs and feelings and that I think they are expecting too much from me like they did when I was a child.

I don’t seem to be able to fit into social situations or work very well and I have met some very clever professional people who have a type of autism as well.

men older then me have put s***** demands on me and they can be married but still expect me to hang around waiting for them when I want to be married and in a proper relationship with a young man.

I have been bashed into by woman and men have kicked into me as well for no reason.

as a child I had a closed bubble around me, and have always felt like people don’t like me. most guys never show niceness to me but I see them nice to other girls (and they are not always the pretty girls or rich or clever girls either). so what is it?

I had deep communication problems with a counselor I was seeing who was actually trying to send me mental rather then helping me. that is when I started hearing strange sounds and imagining communication in an inferred way rather then spoken directly.