I am battling depression. I have had it a long time and my tablets make me gain weight. I hate the way doctors lie to you about things like that. My depression is hurting every aspect of my life but I don’t feel suicidal and I am even accepting of my weight issues. I just worry about the long term and future and wonder if these old doctors know the best medications for me. I feel like all I do is chit-chat with my ineffectual therapist who is a old man and I wish I could see a free one who is younger and with more expert skills in my area of concern and I worry about money a great deal and future health and health care needs. I just feel like I have been lied to so much when it comes to doctors and there secrets and what they are doing to patients frightens me. I just wish we had never left the other specialist centre and it was better when it was right near the shops. I wish life was more about meeting and suiting my needs, which is selfish of me to say, but I just think how unfair it is now that there are super rich people getting overseas holidays all the time and big money jobs and huge houses were only 1 person lives half of the year when the rest of the time they are travelling and all the drugs and alcohol and waste in the world seems so unfair. When I am not trusted to one god dam thing, not even to be a parent and have my own child of my own choice that I am pregnant with and I work for and a task based person and so on to feel a sense of progress in my life. I hate most people in this world now. The world is so evil and mean. I hate people who have it all given to them too easily. People who don’t deserve their jobs or marriages and children. even people who don’t deserve their pets and let them out at night when they could get hurt. what person does that? tell me? what person goes around stealing things off clothes lines for fun? what sort of person gets involved to become a milk-m***? and are they that liked really by everyone as much as we are told? because I hear a lot of s*** people talk and tone of voice and I question a lot of fake friendliness out in the world now. fake doctor advice and fake medications and fake houses being built. and fake jobs. and fake fun holidays where its been more hell then good. faking it cuz you just have to pretend. I done that too when I am sad and lonely as hell. You don’t think I want better company then what I have? its just that I don’t want that fool around me.
