I’ve decided to raise my standards a bit, and I made a list. I’m just sick and tired of giving guys I don’t like a chance. Anyways, here’s my list. If you think I should change anything, let me know.

• Isn’t in a band

• Doesn’t own a windowless van (for obvious reasons lol)

• Cares about his looks, but isn’t anywhere on the vanity spectrum (I just want a guy that doesn’t look like he died last week LOL)

• Isn’t overweight (I don’t find lazy people attractive, and fat usually always equals lazy)

• Broad shoulders (NOT NEEDED, but f*** is it nice)

• Has multiple hobbies (I don’t want a one trick pony)

• Likes various musical genres (Can’t stand people who only like one kind of music. Really, there’s so much more out there)

• Has some sort of interest in nerdy b******* (Need a guy that goes to cons with me, he doesn’t have to cosplay)

• Willing to do “fun s***” with me (And by “fun s***” I mean prowl around in Whoreshire and Second Life)

• Plays video games, but isn’t better than me (I want a filthy casual lol)

• Goes on 4Chan or Reddit at least once a week

• Needs to be somewhat up to date on meme culture (I don’t want a guy that talks about Ugandan Knuckles. Ever. Nope, no thanks)

• Needs to have goals or some sort of aspirations (LAZY = NO THANKS)

• Has to be somewhat physically attractive (I’d have a bit of a hard time with a guy I don’t physically like, especially when things get steamy)

• Appreciates my s***** memes (Doesn’t have to specifically like them)

• Definite dominant (What can I say? I like STRONK BOIS)

• Willing to binge Neo Yokio with me (I like to watch people slowly die inside)

• Needs to be mentally stable (This one is important. I need him to be perfect before I slowly break him with constant Second Life and Neo Yokio)

• Can’t be emotionally taxing or manipulative (No thanks)

• Needs to make me feel safe (I’ve got slight anxiety problems, so this one is pretty important. I don’t want to be alone with ’em and have a panic attack)

• Needs to make me happy (Relationships are about mutual support right? I’m not gonna deal with ’em if he doesn’t even try lol)

• Needs to be fine with coffee (No lightweights in my house!)

• Needs to be KaWaIi (Because why not)

• Needs to give me a reason to sleep without my dakimakuras (° ͜ʖ °)(Yes, that is plural. I sleep with several daki’s at a time. I have a rotation so my husbandos get equal attention. I’m the pinnacle of cringe lol)

• CAN’T BE BORING (This is pretty important lol)