Im young and life is so s*** people say that when your young its the best time of your life but for me its not and im scared that its only going to get worse as i get older and ill never be happy i use video games music etc. to distract me from my sad life and i think when i get older im not gonna like that stuff and then ill use drugs and when that isnt enough ill just end up killing myself. The thing that makes me sad is that im not living a normal life but sometimes ill look at other people pathetic lives to make me feel better but it doesnt last very long before i start thinking about mine and ill start thinking about other peoples lives that are way better living in their houses and s*** being able to eat food without having to worry about having any the next day and being able to ask their parents for something without having to feel guilty about it and being able to buy to get new clothes whenever they want. Its just seems that life is gonna get worse as i get older which is what people tell me and thats why im giving up in school not completely but just little to no effort in class. But if i ever tell anybody this ill be considered ungrateful which makes me even more depressed i just dont want to exist anymore. I was happy before but its all gone if im not sad im just really anxious about something and sometimes i just lay down feeling nothing which feels good in a way but it ends up going away.

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