to shantel, i hurt you long ago by leaving and not saying goodbye... i loved you more than i'd ever thought i could love someone, i only learned

12 years

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to shantel,
i hurt you long ago by leaving and not saying goodbye… i loved you more than i’d ever thought i could love someone, i only learned afterwards how much exactly you meant to me. life has been a living hell for years wishing i’d just said stayed… i get up every morning and wish i would open my eyes and it was all just a bad nightmare and you were there next to me the whole time holding my hand. i left you and i will probably never be able to forgive myself, but i hope one day you’ll see this and forgive me for how i hurt you. life will always be bleak and lifeless without you but i cant stand the thought of seeing you and knowing how badly i hurt you. it tears me up knowing that i could hurt someone the way i hurt you.
i will always and forever love you,
CJ

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