I’m resentful as hell with life. I’m resentful against people calling me lazy my whole life, like I don’t know what effort is because otherwise I’d not be the failure I’m now. My failure in categorical. No matter how, I’m 26 years old, live with abusive parents I never confronted nor ran away because I thought it was ok what they did and there’s no way anyone would receive me out there without abusing either. I barely graduated in 6 years from a program that takes 4 (talk about extra debt), offers no employment chances without a masters I came up to be rejected, so now I’m unemployed like I never studied (welcome McDonalds, the reward for my idiotic hard work!) I gave up serious effort in relationships in order to focus in my failed career, so I haven’t either got a gf ever (like I’d attract anyone anyways, I’m unworthy of love).

But you know what I resent the most? People telling me to keep playing the goddamn game from the comfort of their lives. They all tell themselves how hard they have got it, how I should feel privileged and guilty because I didn’t have it worse, how I’m disgusting self pityish vermin, how should I just shut the f*** up and pretend it’s all fine despite being the goddamn laughingstock of everyone. It’s not like I’ll ever recover my dignity again, even if a job came. I don’t want to kill myself but the older I get, the more encouraged I feel to it in this s***** lonely world.