I am sick of the way I live. I used to abhor the idea of servants but now I feel so dreadful I think I would appreciate it, and a new house and social life.

I don’t consider myself a real snob, by definition I am shy and quiet most of the time. but today I have to admit when these two women came by me I felt less of a person.

they were heavy smokers, and drinkers, they had a thug look about them in street gear, one had these tight black pants with slits all the way up the sides and was a little politer then the other. the other looked like a run in middletone crossed with a boxer, dressed in stars and banners blue red and white tracky dacks and smoking heavy, loud, rough and more then ready for a fist fight. I don’t fit in with those people. while I may not really fit in with rich smart people either who talk many languages or who dine everyday in 6 course meals (but god how I would love to! the old style world charm like in austen and rich titled families), but I felt so bothered by these women. I had to ring someone out of fear, depression and feeling disorientated being around them. I had to move away. then I got super depressed and could feel everyone against me.

I am not a ruff-kin. I may look average and dull but I don’t want to look like those two girls. then this super fat woman walked past with server fat legs that literally made me ill. I would hate that condition and want to look as thin as possible. I just felt sorry for her as she did have more style.

I hate street tacky bling. I like some designer things but I am more a conservative moderate person who goes for things that grandmother and great grandy did. that is me. now and then a little bling comes out. but as someone pointed out to me there is bling and then there is bling trash! well, enough said!