I’m 24, in a long-term relationship with someone I actually like, but I’m always wishing she would deliver something a little more to the table. I’m not even talking about s**. I’m talking, more or less, about the fact I wish she was more of an extrovert in terms of just not caring what other people think. In into all these scenester chicks with their skittle colored hairs, their “out there” tastes, and their desire to just be upbeat enough that it’s refreshing; I love it. When I think about who I’m with right now though, it makes me feel like I’m stuck and that the adventure will never get any more grand than just this right now. I have no real life friends, I play video games all day, watch anime, have no car, listen to just a lot of old school punk rock, but I’m constantly desiring to meet this one cool chick like Ramona Flowers; tattoos, maybe a few piercings, and really just wants to go out and do anything from shooting a video to just playing some f****** air guitar together. I’ve tried to tell myself so many times that I’m perfectly okay with my current girlfriend, but I just keep getting that feeling that I want some chick to come through this magical love door, and say,”hey, let’s f****** go on an awesome adventure!” I could just break up with her, but that wouldn’t solve anything. I would just be alone at that point. I also don’t want to hurt her feelings anymore than I have, but at the same time it seems that we’re just arguing so much lately because of stupid things I’ve done. She can’t trust me anymore, and it’s my fault. So, the bigger part of me really just wants to wipe the slate and pursue this. The only problem is that I’m starting to really believe that “that girl” won’t ever cross my path. Why is a girl like this so much to ask for? I’m not asking for anything more than a punk-chick, who digs the whole nerd thing, is semi-artsy, but not strung out on some kind of drug addiction? Seriously, what the f*** is wrong with me, and why is it so hard to get someone like this who doesn’t live halfway around the planet?
