Ever since I learned how to hold a g******* pencil in my hand, all I ever wanted to be was an artist. My whole life has just been dreams of paint and color, and all I see and make is beautiful creations that come from my mind and I love sharing it with others and they love seeing it. I remember gushing over those stupid archie sonic comics when I was 7 and from that day on I wanted to use my talent to make someone else feel the same, and as I grew, I looked more into animation and now I want to be a storyboard artist.

My parents, for a while, supported this goal of mine, but my father, an ex-ranger from the army, wants me to join the air force. It’s awful, and a horrible manipulation comes into play because while my parents still continue to help me be an artist, my father is also trying to coax me into joining the air force. Even though I have an average gpa, my parents tell me that it’ll be a miracle if I graduate, because they are very smart people with a very dumb, mentally unstable son. I made a deal that if I get a gpa of a D or lower I will go into the military, where I will probably kill myself; if not I can go to community college and further reach my dreams. My parents say that they will reluctantly pay for my community college but I’ll find the money, this is my dream and I’ll do whatever it takes for me to get the money, even if it kills me.

I have nothing against people who are in the military, but my personal morals and reasonings and beliefs make it seem that if I go with that option I’ll be betraying myself. Thinking about it keeps me up at night, causes episodes, puts me into a state of such heavy stress my mind can’t handle it. The future is scary, and these two options will take me down two completely different paths. And that’s horrifying.