I just recently developed an eating disorder and with it came a sense of proudness. I know it’s not something to be proud of, or happy about, and it’s certainly not the right way to loose the weight I want to, but I’m excited about the results I’ll see. The ribs poking out, the hip bones protruding from my body, the smaller waist, the skinny legs, the less full face. Its been hard dealing with the extreme depression and suicidal thoughts/attempts, and I just feel like my eating and my body is one of the things I have complete control of, and other people don’t really influence it. What appeals to me, is that it’s all up to me, I know what goes in my body, and how many calories I take in. I have never talked to anyone about my depression or suicidal tendencies or eating disorders or self harm. I just feel like they won’t give a s***. my best friends haven’t caught on to any of my habitual practices and ways of thinking. I can’t talk to my parents, they’d make it worse, so I guess I don’t really have anyone. Even if I did, I probably wouldn’t tell them, I don’t want anyone’s pity, I don’t want attention from that. I just think i’m truly alone in it and no one would understand, as cliche as that sounds.