I’ve wanted to kill myself since I was 11 years old. I can never forgive my mother for neglecting me and leaving me with my sister who was on heroine and the abuse I received as a child. For years I have struggled with depression and social anxiety and all my relationships have failed as a result. Everyone I have dated had only been with me for my body. I cannot communicate my thoughts in a way that others would understand. I really try but nobody has the patience for someone as disfunctional as myself. I’m now in college and all my friends from high school moved away and there is no one here that I connect with. My family no longer calls or asks how I’m doing. There is a man in my life that I fell for only to find out that he has a girlfriend. He treats me like we are dating but won’t let me in emotionally. I won’t let him go because I have no one else to talk to. I am overwelmed by guilt.