I don’t think I can deal with not knowing I’m much longer. This isn’t fun, it hurts. Not knowing you personally hurts. Not being able to build myself with you hurts, even if only in a friend capacity. Not knowing you personally hurts my soul.

Some days I don’t know what to think. I wonder if you’re all over the place, overly devoted to the wrong people, hung up on an ex, too deep in a scene that would cause harm or pain, or any of those things. Then I’ll think, what if you’re a good person trying to make right? What if you deeply want a family and real love? What if you know I’m out here and burn the same way I do? What if you feel that same hurt? Then I wonder, what if you’re just like me?

My heart has been pounding for you since day one, and I’m tired of living my life as if I’m on a fantasy without a chance. I don’t crush and grovel, I am someone who deeply cares. You were shown to me for a reason, and I’m tired of not truly knowing who you are and what all this means. I love you. My gosh, it feels so good to say that out loud. I love you, and I want to be in love with you. I want to know your faults and I want you to know mine. I’m just so sick of not knowing you. Find a way to tell me something, because this hurts. it hurts.