He was my neighbour and my classmate. He was among the most popular kids of our school and I was a shy girl with a few friends. We both had the same bus stop, our families knew each other but we never talked. We went to each other’s house for taking notes, attending family functions etc. but still we never talked to each other and I really don’t know why? I wanted to talk to him, I wanted to become his friend just like other girls in my class but I wasn’t bold enough to initiate the conversation. He was my first crush and love. I regret not saying ‘hi’ to him when I could. I regret we never became friends although we could and our families think we are really good friends. I always think that he regret the same thing, somehow I always knew that he wanted to talk to me. He talked to every single girl of my class but not me. I sometimes found him staring at me, his friend once told me that he talks about me. He told his friend which car I had and the car number too which even I didn’t remember, he told him about my grandparents, my brother etc. There were these signs that I somehow knew their is something between us but couldn’t figure it out. When we were in 8 standard, we performed in a school play where I became his wife and I was so happy at that time, that was the best memory I have. Our school tour went to Jaipur and his room was adjacent to my room. He came to my room with his friends and we had fun that night. Things were good, but then he and one of my friend started dating each other and fell in love. She was a popular girl and pretty too, my chances with him were over now and I lost all hope. They shifted to Gurgaon when we were in 9 standard and he left our school. That was the day I truly realised my feelings towards him. Though we never talked to each other but I always liked him. As he left, my feelings became stronger for him and I missed him. Somehow I moved on with my life and had two serious relationships. I had other crushes too. I am still in a very serious relationship. But I still dream about him, my dreams are mostly about him. We are happy with each other in my dreams, we kiss, we love. I don’t know why I dream about him when in real life I don’t even think about him for even a second. Though I have a very happy relationship, I seldom dream of my boyfriend and other things. Its been 8 years now but I still couldn’t get over him. Whenever I dream of him I want to talk to him and I want to tell him everything but I am afraid he would not understand this besides what can he do about all this? I know for sure that he don’t have any kind of feeling towards me. We follow each other on Instagram, we were facebook friends too but I deactivated my profile. He had never tried to talk to me, neither did I. Though I have feelings for him but no one knows about it moreover I have never shown my feelings to him and never have I tried to talk to him. I just don’t know why I dream of him so often. I want to stop dreaming of him as it can change nothing. These dreams give me hope that maybe someday we can be together, someday our paths will meet and we’ll be happy with each other, someday I’ll confess my feelings and he’ll do the same but I know that every dream is not real and this is just me hoping some unrealistic situations to happen.
P.S- Someone please tell me how to stop dreaming about him.
