I hate everything. I don’t want to be alive. I know people have it worse. I’m trying to be happy, looking for positives, even if it’s just the small positives like finding a penny on the ground. But it feels like it’s just not enough. Like, I could have a better life.
I would talk to my mom about these things, but she’s married to my stepdad who hates me. He tried touching me… My stepdad is also my grandpa, my mother married her father… -_-
My dad is an abusive drunk. I live with the guilt and nightmares of being s******* assaulted by my “best friend’s” boyfriend… I wanted to do something, but he said if I moved, he’d kill me. I wanted to move, because I would have rather been dead… It happened several times. After the first time, I laid there, motionless. Stone-faced, and just took it.. I couldn’t do anything about it. I was afraid… I’ve tried to kill myself. chickened out every time. Meh… needed to vent..