I’m in a place where nobody understands me. Nobody understands what I’m going through or how much pain I’m in. Everytime I am upset people brush it off as a ‘bad day’ or me overreacting but the truth of the matter is I am nowhere near okay. I hate myself. I’m nothing close to what I want to be. I’m not truly important to anybody. I’m always a second choice if even thought of at all. I don’t feel wanted or valued at all. My self esteem is completely gone although I never had much to begin with. I hate being ugly. I’m unsociable. I don’t know how to make friends. And the worst part about everything is that I have nobody to talk to. Sure I can kind of mention how I feel but I can’t be totally honest because I don’t want to annoy, alarm, or scare anybody. I’ve been harboring these feelings for about five years now and I don’t know how much longer I can take them. I’ve wanted to kill myself long ago to be quite honest but the only thing that’s held me back is the same cowardly trait that makes me such a loser to begin with. I just want to be done. If someone were to kill me I wouldn’t mind. They would be doing me favor. I’m tired.