I fear what my parents might say if I tell them about my interest in pagan religions. They are christian (and surprisingly liberal and excepting,

14 years

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I fear what my parents might say if I tell them about my interest in pagan religions. They are christian (and surprisingly liberal and excepting, especially of the LGBT community, for baptists) and are very good people, and I love them, but… I just don’t know how they would react if I asked them to buy me books on the topic.

The thought terrifies me to the core.

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My fantasy is to see pedophiles get killed in a heinous way.

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i want to end myself and i have suicidal thoughts thinking how should i die (i often think about hanging) and i imagine myself when i am doing the deed. i have fallen quite low and it is hard to stand up again. i have been having family issues (mainly with my dad) aside from my own personal problems. even if i vent this to someone, i know that their words are not enough. it is unfortunate for me that i got the miserable version of life haha… maybe if i was more pleasant, people would’ve treated me differently and my father wouldn’t even verbally abuse me. i have been like this for months now. some days i feel better but once triggered, everything comes back and i am miserable again. i really don’t want this life and the urge to end it is very strong. i have fallen out of my faith in God so to end this all, i think i should end the root of everything which is me because i realized that i might be the problem. that is all.